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Spiritual quest

The beginning of the spiritual quest

Someone asked: "Can you tell what were the circumstances that led you to undertake a spiritual journey?"

Dadrim replied: I think that going back over those years during which I moved the first steps being driven by the feeling of living as a prisoner of a sort of spell, could be of help and comfort to all those who today are in the condition I then was. ... ...

In those years I had almost everything: friends, a family, interests, hobbies, entertainment. There was everything! I had the complete package of what is usually considered indispensable to enjoy a peaceful life: I did not lack anything. But among all these things there was one that many often do not have or do not want to have. I had time to think, look, think and stay a while on my own. Not that I wanted to, but perhaps for simple laziness I used to prefer the couch to the confusion of the public houses at the weekend, or the terrace of the house to the frantic weeks in mid-August.

It was during those moments of solitude that I began to feel something in me that demanded my attention, and though I tried to revert to commonality, quiet and disciplined on the "common" way, all the chatter I heard around me had already become so clearly the most grotesque, so that I could not go back to sleep. As I said, the chance gave me long idle whiles, hours of solitude, of immobility, which probably went to break that otherwise mechanical and perpetual motion that I had got accustomed to call life.

During those breaks I used to confront with thoughts that had already visited me other times, but never so vivid and persistent. Sure, they were all things I already knew, but until then they had always been only sterile news, events far away, but never anything so real, close, even intimate and personal.

I began to feel all the violence, fear and pain that surrounded me and penetrated. Behind the smiles and the ritual phrases that crystallize our relationship I began to see the inner emptiness and loneliness of people. (...)